My Boss is a PITA or…Why Embodiment is Vital
The other night my one of my sons tried to run away from home. This was not in the cute, he wrapped his toys up in a handkerchief and pouted on the back porch kind of way. This was defiantly running off without shoes in the pitch black of night while we live on a major highway traveled heavily by semi trucks kind of way. It was after the type of hateful tirade I wasn’t expecting until at least puberty set in, so suffice it to say it was an incredibly intense evening. That intensity would have evoked a major emotional meltdown from me had I not made an important decision earlier in the day…
As many of you know, I’m busily creating a new online business to launch in January and it’s all taking place under extreme pressure to get it done right and on time by my boss. My boss is highly critical and demands perfection. She isn’t quick to notice what works well, but zeros in on the flaws like a laser. She tends to motivate by pointing out all the crap while simultaneously mocking me. She’s a real pita and, what’s worse, she lives in my head. Sometimes I think she’s taking a spin class up there because it literally feels like the wheels are turning 24/7 with information, ideas and directives. She’s loud and distracting, up in my head, and that’s probably her way of demanding attention. In the last week or so, she’s had some competition from my sons, though. They’ve been growing louder with demands of christmas decorations and a tree. For a second, I thought they’d been smoking crack (until I remembered we don’t keep crack on hand). Don’t they hear my boss yelling at me to get my shit done BEFORE Christmas so I can relax for a few days before I launch? Even the holiday commercials were starting to annoy me. I fantasized about steamrolling right over the holidays~ forget the tree & decor. My head says I haven’t got the time. But, suddenly I noticed how stressed out I was at the prospect of bringing home a Christmas tree, never mind decorating it. My body cringed at the thought of bringing the holidays into the house in its current state of disarray. The fact is, Christmas is coming whether I like it or not, so I can step into right now and make this moment work or I can continue pushing it off, resisting what will keep trying to manifest regardless of the plans I’m making.
So, I made a decision to take a week off from work* and focus on creating an environment that supports what’s happening right now. That way I could dust the family room and wash the floors without the internal pressure of a deadline. I could create the space for the holidays not only in the house, but in my body. When I’m cringing from what’s happening now, my body contracts, leaving no extra space for the joy that could inhabit it. Embodying deadlines, stress, criticism, fear or whatever my negative self talk of the day may be means there’s no space left to embody joy, gratitude, empathy, thoughtfulness or LOVE.
It’s because I made the decision to stop listening to the spin class in my head and instead listen to my heart, I was able to navigate the would be treacherous waters of parenthood with smooth sailing the night my son ran off. The next day, he stayed home from school because he listened to his body (a story for another time). He helped me clean, read books and we had several long talks about how feelings manifest themselves in the body, so it’s helpful to notice and embrace those sensations. He shared with me what makes him feel happy and we came up with a strategy to encourage those feelings more often. We also decided we both need to embody patience with one another. I went to sleep that night feeling gratitude for all that had transpired because I felt we both understood each other better and had a clearer line of communication going forward. My heart felt full because I was in the moment to experience it.
I say I teach embodiment but that’s not the whole story. Truth is, we embody ideas, qualities or feelings all day, every day without someone teaching us how to do so. What I teach is how to embody what supports you right now, in this moment. Too often, we are trying to live in the future or perhaps even the past, but that isn’t possible. We are here, right now, and it’s vital we embody what will give us the most energy, fluidity and love so we can connect with that which is most dear~ our families, our friends, ourselves. I don’t want a critical perfectionist telling me what to embody. I am more than that. I want to rock my most vital embodiment today and I encourage you to rock what’s yours.
*Yes, I know I’m writing this and, technically, it’s work, but I’m not doing it because my boss told me to. I’m doing it because I was inspired to. Embodying inspiration. 
**I’d like to give a shout out to Bryan Franklin for his thoughtful wisdom will forever stick with me.
